A Simple Trick to Detect if Your Manuscript Is Actually a Hot Mess

I’ve read through a lot of manuscripts and short pitches and have met many aspiring authors who have told me about their stories, and I’ve learned a shortcut for discerning if a manuscript is a hot mess even before I read it. 

If I ask a writer what their story is about, whether verbally or with a short written pitch, and they give a rambling, meandering, unclear response, it’s usually a good indicator that the story itself is also rambling, meandering and unclear. I’ve tested this time and again and it’s never failed me. If a writer has completed their manuscript and still can’t succinctly explain what the story is about, then they probably have more work to do. 

Wondering if that could be you? There’s a trick I use with writers in the story planning phase, and even after a manuscript evaluation or during story drafting if the writer is still struggling to get a handle on their story. Maybe it’s not a trick exactly, but I’ve seen so many writers have an aha moment with this exercise that sometimes it feels like it’s magic.  

This is the trick: We distill the entire story into a paragraph, or about 150-200 words. 

You cringed just now, didn’t you? I know. I’m the worst. Many writers already dread writing the 1- to 2-page synopsis at query time, and now I’m telling you to distill it even further. It can freak a writer out. Some even argue that their story is too complex to be reduced to a few sentences. 

But hear me out. Because I’ve seen this help so many times.

I’ve worked with writers who were struggling to get a handle on a story with so much complexity and subplots, and they finally got clarity on the story they were trying to tell. And I’ve seen writers in the early stages of drafting get excited as their initial story idea takes shape into a clear story concept that serves as a guiding light as they write forward.

This method of sizing your story down is so helpful that in Jennie Nash’s Blueprint for a Book —which, as a certified Author Accelerator coach, is a methodology I often use with my writers—there are versions of this exercise in not one, but two of the 14 steps. 

I use a methodology that’s slightly different than Jennie’s (a little longer than Step #3: Write a Super Simple Version of Your Story and a little shorter than Step #7: Write Jacket Copy) because I’ve found this middle ground to work well for my writers. And I’ve seen this exercise work like magic in providing writers with newfound clarity on the state of their story. 

Here’s why…

You can see if there’s a strong narrative trajectory.

My writing clients know this is something I frequently focus on. The narrative trajectory is the external plot, and there should always be a solid cause-and-effect sequence. I often tell writers scenes should unfold as if they’re dominoes, previous scenes clearly leading into the scenes that follow. I’ve also seen it explained as all plot points should come about as a consequence of or in response to previous plot points. 

In Author Accelerator, we talk about this as the “Because of that…” trajectory, which my fellow book coach, author and friend Monica Cox explains well here. The exercise of distilling the plot into a few key sentences is one way to check if you have a solid narrative trajectory in place. If you struggle to boil your plot down because so much is happening, this is a good indicator that your plot could be wildly disconnected.

You can see if the subplots have taken over the story.

I primarily work with women’s fiction writers. Many of their stories include a romantic component, but in women’s fiction the romance is never the primary narrative arc. It is always the B story to the protagonist’s personal growth journey. I’ve worked with writers where the romance subplot takes over and dominates the second half of the story. And if we have a distilled synopsis already drafted, we can return to that to measure it against the story. If your synopsis is mostly focused on the protagonist’s self-discovery/career/family A plot, but the romance B plot is dominating the second half of the story, then you can see you’ve made a misstep in the story you’re aiming to deliver.

Similarly, if your story is a romance, which is detailed in your short synopsis, but other elements overshadow this, you can see this clearly too.

You might discover it’s not clear who the main character is. 

Is your story an ensemble tale with multiple POVs? Or is it written from an omniscient perspective? Sometimes it can be difficult for a writer to determine who their primary protagonist is in this case. Even when there is only one protagonist, a writer may focus the story on another character entirely and we know very little about the protagonist. More than once I’ve had to ask a writer, whose story is this? And the answer they give does not align with the story that’s being told on the page. Your short synopsis should reflect whomever the protagonist is by focusing on how the external plot impacts them and what their emotional growth journey is in the story.

But what if my story is too complex to be distilled in this manner?

I don’t believe it is. Yes, there are many complex, layered stories. Your story should have complexity and layers. This isn’t about that—it isn’t about your entire fleshed-out story. This is about distilling your story to its basic structural skeleton—the foundation of your story—so you can examine it to ensure it has a solid structure. And if you do this before you begin writing, you’re building that structure from the very beginning. 

Even the most complex stories can be distilled to this minimal framework. You know how I know that? Not only because I’ve used this with writers so many times, but also because that’s exactly what happens when a story is published. Marketing copy and jacket copy rely on distilling the story in this manner. In fact, reading the jacket copy of some of your favorite stories is a good way to learn how to collapse a complex story down to its essential structure.

So, how exactly do you distill your story?

The first rule is to leave your perfectionism behind. This is not about crafting elegant sentences. These can be run-on sentences that read awkwardly right now. The purpose of this exercise is only to help you see the heart of your story clearly. Later on you might use this initial story distillation to refine your short pitch and synopsis for your query package, but you don’t need to worry about that right now.

I’ve seen a few different processes that can work well. The one I use asks writers to identify a few key elements first:

• Main character (MC): Whose story is this?

• Status quo: What is the MC’s life before the inciting incident?

• Inciting incident: What kicks off the story?

• Impact: What does the inciting incident prompt the MC to do?

• Outcome: What happens because they do this?

• Goal + Conflict + Stakes: What is the MC trying to achieve? What stands in their way and what do they stand to lose?

Then we craft a paragraph that includes these elements. A good starting point is:

[MC] was [STATUS QUO] until [INCITING INCIDENT] and [IMPACT] + [OUTCOME]. Now MC must [GOAL] despite [CONFLICT] or else [STAKES]. 

Another formula that can work well:

When [INCITING INCIDENT] happens, [MC] decides [STORY GOAL] against [ANTAGONIST/CONFLICT] before [TICKING CLOCK] or else [STAKES].

I’ve also directed writers to Substacker and author Michelle Schusterman’s query formula and explanation that works well for this exercise too.

PRO TIP: If you still feel overwhelmed by attempting to distill your story, try this exercise with a book you know and love first. Plug in each of the elements and draft a short paragraph to get a feel for how a short synopsis like this can work. Once you’re more comfortable with how it works, try it again with your own story. 

Now there’s a caveat, of course. Just because you nail distilling your story does not necessarily mean there are no issues with your manuscript. You might want to check out 6 common manuscript mistakes I see, and strategies for avoiding them next. Need more help? I also offer manuscript evaluations and mini manuscript assessments.

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I’m Heather Garbo…I’m a book coach for women’s fiction writers (re)discovering their writing voices in midlife or later. My Write Your Next Chapter framework empowers aspiring novelists to transform budding ideas into engaging stories…because no woman should regret not pursuing her creative dreams nor doubt the impact her voice can make. Learn how to work with me at www.garbobookcoaching.com.