7 Mindset Shifts You Need to Make to Finally Write That Book
And 2 to get you through the tough querying stage
In fiction writing, we frequently talk about the external plot and the internal plot of story. The external plot is, of course, all that is happening outside of the protagonist…it’s usually the exciting stuff that causes readers to turn the pages. But the internal plot—the protagonist’s personal growth journey—is just as important, especially in women’s fiction, upmarket and book club fiction.
Some even argue that inner growth is the real reason we read—we not only want to know what happens in a story, but we also want to understand a character’s choices and how they learn and grow. As humans, it’s how we learn and grow too.
When I work with book coaching clients, much like in stories, we not only focus on the external work—story planning, writing, and revision—but we also build in a lot of internal growth, too.
Why? Because…
Your mindset matters as much as your writing skills.
Just like with your protagonist—your own beliefs and perspective can interfere with—and even sabotage—your external goal of writing a book.
(Truly it’s all very meta! 😆)
But this is not something you can simply check off a list and then move on. This is work you will return to time and again. One day you may strongly believe these words are true, but another day you may have doubts. This process, this work, is never truly done. But, really, that’s the good news too.
Here are the 9 mindsets I recommend aspiring novelists work toward cultivating…
1️⃣ My words, my voice, and my story matter, and will resonate with someone who needs to read it.
I often see writers who come to me with a story idea, but they also feel so unsure of the worthiness of this idea. Sometimes they’re a bit shy about it. Sometimes they ask me directly if I think it has any value.
But if your story comes from an authentic place inside you—a place where you feel emotionally connected to it—then it has the potential to emotionally reverberate with a reader. However you need to dig deep to get that authenticity onto the page. You need to believe in the value of your story to make it resonate with readers. And you’ll need to keep reminding yourself why this story matters throughout the drafting, revision and even querying process.
2️⃣ I’m allowed to invest my time, my money and my excitement in my pursuit of writing.
If someone comes to work with me as a book coach and editor, they are usually already open to the idea that they’re allowed to invest in themselves and their writing. But we still need to reinforce it throughout our work together.
Perhaps this is especially true because I work with women who are rediscovering or exploring their writing voices in midlife. In our society women are socialized to care for others and this holds true even if you’re not a mother. Maybe you care for your parents or your extended family members or your friends or your clients. It can be hard to not feel guilty about doing something for ourselves for the pure enjoyment of it.
That’s actually another issue that falls into this mindset: most writers I meet feel like they can only justify dedicating time to writing if their ultimate goal is to publish a book. And if they don’t meet that goal, they feel like it’s all been for naught. But we would never say to someone who spent the last year learning to play the cello, yet didn’t join a symphony, that their learning and growth had been a waste of time. You wouldn’t tell your friend who has been learning to shape bowls on a potters wheel that unless she was selling her final masterpiece, there was no point. So I ask…why should writing be any different?
Yes, a published book is a worthy goal. But so is mastering the craft of storytelling and getting 75,000 words onto a page. You can pursue writing simply for the joy of learning it. There doesn’t have to be a financial ROI for your pursuit to have value.
3️⃣ Writing is important to me, so I will claim time in my schedule to dedicate to it.
This one feels a bit obvious, right? But it can be hard especially if you’re early in your writing journey or if you’re in a busy season of life. And really—are there any seasons of life that don’t feel busy anymore?
The reality is if this is important to you, you have to find space for it in your hectic life. I work with writers who are largely in midlife, which means they’re often sandwiched between raising kids and helping aging parents, juggling work responsibilities and a home and family. But you can carve out time for yourself on your calendar just like you carve out time for everyone else. I don’t believe you have to write every day, but I do believe you have to show up to the page with regularity, and the best way to do that is have a regular writing date with yourself.
4️⃣ I can give myself permission to explore my story on the
page—even if it’s uncomfortable, messy or hard.
So often writers think that giving themselves permission to write is simply about finding the time. That’s part of it, but not all of it.
One of the sneakier ways you may be unconsciously holding yourself back is by stifling your writing voice on the page. This happens when you’re afraid to write your truth, worry about what other people might think, or struggle to tackle a scene that brings up a lot of difficult emotions for you.
I often see this when a writer focuses mostly on the external plot rather than the emotional context of the story. But it shows up in other ways too…a writer who’s afraid to write about a difficult mother, for example, because they worry people will think their own mother is a nightmare. There are many ways a writer can hold back on telling their story.
5️⃣ I am open to learning and accepting editorial feedback so I can become a stronger writer.
I work with new writers who are attempting to write their first novel, nonfiction writers who are trying their hand at fiction, and even published novelists. No matter where they are in their writing journey, the writers who have the most success are those who are open to continually learning and growing. A big part of that is the ability to accept editorial feedback and thoughtfully incorporate it into your manuscript.
It’s not easy to receive editorial feedback. Writing is emotional work, and you’re likely to have an emotional response. That’s part of the process.
And learning to accept editorial feedback doesn’t mean you automatically accept whatever comes your way. It means you learn to be discerning, but open. You learn to evaluate if the feedback is helpful or harmful. You use the feedback to reflect and ponder and grow as a writer. It means you continue learning and evolving as a writer.
So many writers overlook this:
💡Your mindset matters as much as your writing skills.
I created a free guide to help writers identify the limiting beliefs holding them back, and simple exercises to move past these:
Are You Ready to Write Your Novel?
5 Mindset Shifts to Find Out
6️⃣ Creativity is a practice and the more I do it, the more inspired I feel.
The longer I’ve worked with writers and even explored my own writing and creativity practices, the more I realize how important is to embrace creativity in all its forms. Creativity is not random—it’s a process and a practice.
The last couple of years I’ve dabbled with watercolors, and the more I do it, the more inspired I feel in writing. I feel the same creative energy when I’ve spent time in the garden. You can’t use up your creative energy. Creativity begets creativity.
I’ve always talked with clients about this organically, but recently I’ve been thinking about how to weave this into my coaching practice more. Embracing creativity, even in other forms (or maybe especially in other forms), can be really beneficial to your writing.
7️⃣ I can create quiet and mental space for my creative inspiration.
If we never make time to literally hear ourselves think, we’re going to struggle to feel inspired. There’s never been a time when we have had more sensory input, which can certainly inspire us in our writing. But, we also need to create intentional time in our lives to synthesize that information.
I often tell new writers that writing is a 2-part process, the thinking part and the writing part. Whether you’re story-planning or just at a tricky part of writing your manuscript, it’s especially important to give yourself space to consider it. This might look like taking walks, meditating, quiet time, journaling, or dabbling in another art form.
It might even be as simple as not checking your phone when you’re standing in line, and just letting your mind wander instead. Again, creativity is a process and a practice, and you need to make space for it.
8️⃣ Writing a book is a business, and learning about the publishing industry is part of the process.
If you hope to publish your book, then you have to learn to balance your creative expression with the business side of writing. This perspective may be more relevant after your manuscript is complete, but it’s still helpful to recognize early in your writing process.
This is why I include industry analyses here on my Substack such as agents’ most requested genres in 2025, insights on the 2025 debut deals or if you should still pitch your book as women’s fiction.
I know the publishing industry can feel mysterious and rather confusing to navigate, and it’s important to understand it if you want to publish a book.
For an agent, an editor, a publicist, a publisher…this is their career. They don’t want to mess around with people who don’t take it as seriously as they do. Even if you’re self-published, a reader doesn’t want to pay you for a half-baked story. Like it or not, once you sell your book it’s also a product, and it needs to be professional if you want people to pay for it.
That said, if you’re still in the thick of writing your draft, you don’t need to do a deep dive on the publishing industry right now. But learning how to navigate the publishing process and becoming aware of the other books in your genre are an important part of your journey.
9️⃣ I can’t control the timeline or the rejections. But I can control whether I keep going.
Again this one is usually more relevant once you start querying, but sometimes it comes up during the writing process too.
And this one is so tough. I see a lot of writers who have worked hard and I know have a fantastic story, but they are feeling demoralized by querying. It can take so long, and sometimes it’s not the outcome we hope for.
To be honest, this is the part that’s hardest for me too. Because I can’t control it any more than my writing clients can. No one can guarantee anything, no matter how fabulous your story is.
Writing a book is an emotional roller coaster, and it requires SO much emotional bravery and persistence at every single step in the process. But if you got so far that you’re querying, you are brave and persistent. The tenacity that got you through the writing and revising can carry you further.
But there’s another side to this too. If at any point in this process, you decide you no longer enjoy it, you don’t have to keep doing it. There is no shame in an intentional pivot. Maybe that means shelving the story you’re working on in favor of another one, or maybe that means you decide to stop querying.
There’s no doubt the book-writing journey is a tough one. And you get to decide when you have gotten what you need from it.
Maybe you needed to prove to yourself you could write 75,000 words. Maybe you needed to have another person tell you how much the story mattered to them. Maybe you just needed to give it your best shot, whatever that looks like.
A published book isn’t the only measure of success. You get to decide what this writing journey means for you. Just like with your protagonist, the real story isn’t the external plot. It’s not simply how you grew as a writer. It’s how you grew as a person. And you will find personal growth through your writing journey no matter where it ends.
Psst…you may also want to check out Yes, You Are Allowed to Invest in Your Creative Pursuits, What to Do with a Creative Story Download and Books to Inspire You to Be Brave in Your Writing.
The cello analogy stopped me completely. We would never tell a woman who spent a year learning something beautiful that it only counted if she performed on a stage. And yet we say it to ourselves about writing all the time. I started writing four months ago and it is still very new to me. The permission to pursue something simply because it matters to you , not because it will produce something measurable that shift is what changes everything.
This is me in a nutshell. I just posted about writing doubt and this shows up in my feed. Perfect timing. 🙏